23 – De-clutter objects de-clutter mind – procrastination sf and sc

I had been procrastinating on getting my 'homework' done for DIP, and for daily journal writing. I used the excuse that it is more important to clear the clutter first, so I can think more clearly. I felt like clearing the clutter would motivate me, and help me to calm down to the point where I can sit down for as long as it takes to do my work, and not feel anxious.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when something is asked of me to be done or something is required of me to be done within a moment – say; “Nah, I'll do it later, I don't want to do it now” - instead of moving myself to do it here in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within the 'now' of conciousness by not doing what is required of me to be done in the moment, thereby accumulating 'unfulfilled' moments within myself – whereby I am literally still trapped in those moments – and thus, of the past.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk as breath, wherein I, in every moment, direct myself within what is here and what is required to be done – in the moment, immediately.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest a habitual behavior of laziness through constantly and continuously procrastinating – putting things off for the future – creating and manifesting the as laziness as a drug in my mind, to which I've become addicted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become addicted to the feeling of laziness as a drug in my mind – whereby I have come to believe that I am unable to move and direct myself in my world – completely accepting myself as the self-definition of 'I am a lazy person' and 'I am an unable to write unless I have the clutter cleared first' – through which I limit myself to the utmost degree.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to laziness and the feeling of laziness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as unmotivated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe something outside of me is required to motivate me instead of me directing myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to do anything, unless I can see an unpleasant consequence if I am not able to do what I require to do -in the near future.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally move myself in every moment – but instead, put things off to a later moment, until I am almost too late and see that if I don't quickly do what I am supposed to do, I'll get into trouble.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the threat and anticipation of trouble to move me instead of me moving myself as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing punishment and reward to exist as the two motivators in my world, in myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only do something if I will be rewarded for it, or if not doing it will cause me to experience punishment.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to discipline myself within moving and directing myself in every here moment – but instead allow myself to 'slack' and 'slip' into laziness.

I forgive myself for not applying self-will in every moment, where I will myself to live as me in self-movement, self-direction, self -responsibility and self-honesty in every here moment.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to apply self-will when there is a task at hand, to will myself in walking through the resistance and getting it done – but instead, allow myself to use excuses and justifications to make me believe that it is 'okay' to procrastinate and be lazy.

When and as I want to give into procrastination, and make excuses to not do my DIP or Journey to Life 'homework' here and now, so I can do what I feel I'll get rewarded for first, like clearing the clutter, I stop, and breath deeply, bringing myself back here in this moment. I realize that I am only giving into the addiction of the drug of the mind of laziness and I am allowing it to become who I am instead of me directing me. I commit myself to pay attention to my reasoning and excuses when I don't want to do something, and to stand up and direct myself to do what needs to be done, here, now in this moment.