48 – Working in Haste

I have little patience while working to get things done and feel the need to use every moment of my time to focus only on this. A strong urge to get started on my work and to complete it with no interruptions plagues me. If there are any interruptions that might slow me down from one task, disappointment sets in and I will usually move on to something else that needs to be done so I don't feel I'm 'wasting time'. I tell myself, “I will get back to this interruption and solve the issue when I have more time.”

One example is my journey to life blog. I already had a blog I had been writing in and also wrote on the Desteni forum. I felt that it was a waste of my time to set up a new blog just for the sake of naming it differently, so I procrastinated with the set up, and chose to continue writing on the forum instead. It took me a few months and some encouragement from my buddy before I decided to set up my Journey to Life blog.

Two more examples are my 'failed' attempts to log onto the leadership forum and the Journey to Life ratings. I have tried to retrieve my 'lost' password to the leadership forum because the one that I was using no longer worked, but I still have no new password, or any idea of how to get one. Recently when I attempted to register my JTL blog in the ratings, somehow the password I entered, even though it was new, as I was just singing up, was not working. When I requested a 'forgotten password' to be sent to my email, I received no reply, not even in spam. I was 'wasting time', doing things that got me nowhere, so I told myself, “I'll do it later”, with the thought that I PROBABLY will do it later, MUCH later.

These things that aren't working for me are slowing me down from my daily tasks that I so desire to complete in a timely manner. I get frustrated with trying to figure something out that takes much longer than expected when I can accomplish so much doing what I know.

I feel 'rushed' to complete my task at hand and frustrated with anything that slows me down. I'm allowing my emotions to be controlled by circumstances. It's hard for me to do only 'half a task' as I feel the need to do it all....NOW! Fear of loss of valuable time is embedded in my mind! So I will continue on with writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to realize where this fear has originated and to disable it.