47 – Why I Labeled Myself a 'Singer' – 4

Beauty! “Such a beautiful singer!”

There is no 'beauty' without 'ugly', therefore it is only in comparison and judgment in the mind that beauty exists, in the polarity manifestation of 'beauty' vs. 'ugly'. Desire to find acceptance (in this case by means of being beautiful to others), stems from, comparison, self judgment and a lack of self acceptance.

Beauty – the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations 9as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest.

dictionary.reference.com

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define beauty according to how well I sing

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a beautiful singer.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to wish to be as beautiful a singer, as some of the popular ones on the radio.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accepted myself – and the only way I would accept myself is if I am a beautiful singer.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to love myself – and because I do not love myself I will attempt to be a beautiful singer in order to be in a relationship, to be loved.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the construct and belief of having to be loved, instead of me loving myself as who I am.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sing to sound better than other women.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other women.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as who I am, and because I judge myself, I would attempt to be the most beautiful singer to hide the judgment of me that exists within me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hide myself behind my 'talent' in singing.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider accepting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider loving myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not beautiful enough, and that I'm required to have a 'special talent' to 'fit in' with society and all the other women.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to be the most beautiful singer because of the singers I see and hear on TV. and the radio that look and sound so beautiful, I also want look and sound like them so I practice at sounding just like them.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am boring and plain without having a 'special talent' and 'not acceptable' without having a 'special talent', that I have to work hard at sounding just like the famous singers.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to sing beautifully to be noticed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use my voice as an 'antenna' for me to say, “I am here. Look, listen to my beautiful voice, I have to be in a relationship, I don't accept myself, I don't love myself. I can only accept myself if I am in a relationship and when I get attention from others who think I sing beautifully”. I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that in attempting to be a beautiful singer to others for reasons and purposes separate than me: that is of the mind, I actually become older, less attractive much faster.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept my human physical body and my voice as one with me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body and my voice.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that my human physical body and my voice might actually be showing me /telling me something when I have less control and more scratchiness in my singing – and that I'm actually able to 'correct' this through self -forgiveness and self application in every moment, so that my human physical body and my voice as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life.

When and as I feel the need to have a special talent to sing beautifully to impress others, I stop, I breathe. I realize within breath, and bringing self back here, out of my mind of judgment and separation and into the physical, that I am equal to and one with all life and that this comparison I hold between myself and others is a statement of me not accepting myself as who I am. It is a statement that I am searching for acceptance from others by attempting to seem better than others. I commit myself to find acceptance within self, by writing about what self doesn't accept, and standing up within self to change what self doesn't accept.