39-Shopping – Game of Distraction

I had to get a prescription filled after Pilates class today and when I was at the drug store, I found myself desiring to stay longer after I received my birth control to purchase something. I also desired to buy something for my children. I get a 'rush' of excitement whenever I buy something for myself or for others. I have something new to bring home, that makes life less boring for a little while and I enjoy seeing my kids play with something new and different as well.

I know this is materialistic and only a distraction from boredom, or from whatever it is I want to be distracted from. I think in my case today, I wanted to be distracted from doing homework. I knew that as soon as I returned home I'd have work to do, and I didn't feel like doing it yet. I wanted to bathe in excitement and energy and make it last as long as possible before returning back to reality of what needs to be done.

So, yes, I am quite good at ignoring things when I choose. I have gotten this distraction thing down to a science! When I shop, I am in a whole new world, only focusing on what I am searching for. It is like a game – see if I can find the best product, with the most high-quality ingredients for the cheapest price. After spending quite some time reading the labels on many different products, I choose the best one and purchase it, feeling like I 'won' something with my knowledge of ingredients and recognition of the cheapest price.

I have become somewhat addicted to this relationship I have with searching for and discovering the best quality product for the best price. It is relaxing while I'm 'playing', and exciting when I 'win'. When I don't 'win', I often feel relief because I don't have to spend any money. Excitement when I win, relief when I don't win. It's a 'win – win' situation, see?!

Self forgiveness and self corrective application to come.