Day 10- Back from vacation

I returned home two days ago from a vacation with my family in the mountains. My mom, dad, brother and his ex wife and two kids, and my husband and our two children stayed in a cabin together. It was noisy! Whenever my two kids and my brother's son get together, they stir up a racket! Plus one if the children is a three year old who screams the most high-pitched scream I've ever heard. It is a bit uncomfortable for my ears and that triggers emotion of anger in me. I already have permanent tinnitus from loud concerts in my twenties and I really don't want to expose my ears to any further damage that will speed up the rate of hearing loss.

I wanted to write on my vacation, but each time I sat down to start, I was interrupted by loud children or one of my kids asking me to get something to eat or drink. And what I wanted to write about, I didn't want my family reading, and I was surrounded by them. I don't like breaks in writing because I find it more difficult to get back into the habit or figure out exactly what to write about that I haven't already covered. I seem to want to write about the same things because it is taking me a while to overcome them.

I'm still taking my two meds on a daily basis and I feel normal, (except the tinnitus is magnified) but I went to the Dr. yesterday and asked for another blood test because I'd rather figure out what the problem of fatigue is caused by and fix that. So she is testing my levels of folic-acid and vitamin b-12 to see if I have a deficiency from an inability to absorb them. I still think it may be adrenal fatigue, but I have to cover all the basis first because there is currently no test for adrenal fatigue, only one for adrenal failure.

The migraines I really want to learn more about. I know they are genetic and the first one usually shows up before the age forty. Well I'm thirty eight and my first one gripped me just this past year. They are triggered in the nervous system, which branches out all over the body. So many things can trigger them. Sometimes I can feel one side of my face in pain before a migraine starts on the same side of my head. Sometimes my muscles in my neck and shoulder will tense up and a migraine will result on the same side. When that happens, that side of my head will feel bruised. I have a disease in my nervous system, so I'm wondering if that has anything to do with triggering migraines. I asked my Dr. about but she has doubts about that. But to me it seems it would be weird if there weren't a connection. Either way, I get migraines and when I do, I can't do much of anything. My best bet when one gets me is I stay still in a quiet, dark room with no smells.

That is why I'm concerned about being able to hold onto a job. I was offered one recently, doing what I used to do and what I enjoy doing, personal training. I really like the owner of the studio, as well as the other trainers there and am looking forward to becoming part of the team. In fact I'm down-right excited thinking about it! I just don't want to have to cancel any classes because of a stupid migraine. I want to be a dependable worker. Well, I'm not giving up. I'm just going to try it out anyway. Besides, I can always take my 'seventeen-dollar-a-dose' medicine to halt the migraine! (It's rediculous how much the pharmaceutical company charges and it angers me they are taking advantage of so many people who suffer just to supply their greed) So I'm not going to let that fear get in my way! I can be strong and work through a migraine. It's not the end of the world, dammit! Lol!

Ok, self forgiveness to come. I have studying to do!