Day 4 Scripts – Fluoxetine and Buproprion

Sleep all the time, never enough sleep. Constantly fatigued, so weak. Very quiet, not many words come to mind when in conversations. I'm having too many scary thoughts. My partner drives like a maniac and freaks me out constantly, I'm thinking we are going to wreck. Also thinking I have cancer, or something else wrong, because I just don't feel like my normal self anymore. I keep getting really bad headaches, where I feel sick to my stomach, that over the counter meds don't help. I never used to get headaches before.

I go to the Dr. and get my blood tested. Something is not right and I need to know what it is so I can fix it. Blood test show up normal. But depression and anxiety is in question and it runs in my family, way back in my family. I am diagnosed with migraines and depression and anxiety disorder. I'm not surprised, I've had major depression as a teenager, and I believe I've had minor depression for most of my life since then. I am prescribed Fluoxetine at a low dose of 20mg, and Sumatriptan for relief from migraines, but only as needed. Dr. says Fluoxetine might actually be all I need to keep migraines from attacking.The Sumatriptan is extremely expensive at seventeen dollars per pill, and they only give my nine pills per month, but they work like nothing else.

Anxiety disappears, and I no longer am on edge in my husband's passenger seat. I no longer think I'm dying. An added bonus – my dreams are awesome! I am in total control in my dreams, I can fly, produce magic, become a fairy tale creature, anything I want. My dreams are quite relaxing and enjoyable. Fewer headaches plague me now. But I have lost my libido. Intimacy with my husband is important to me. I still put forth effort, but that's what it is now, effort, instead of desire. I'm still sleepy all the time, and fatigued. I feel so relaxed, which is a relief, but too relaxed, and in a daze. I yawn constantly, and comfortably hold my gaze often as my eyes feel relaxed. My brain feels slow, as it takes me a while to think of what I want to say.

I go back to the Dr. for a follow up on how I'm doing on the Fluoxetine. Because I'm still unmotivated, and fatigued, and because I have lost my libido on this script, Dr. prescribes me Buproprion and instructs me to quit taking the Fluoxetine, with the possibility that I may have to start the Fluoxetine again along with the Buproprion.

Oh my, I'm awake again. I have energy to clean the house, motivation to get things done, and I feel totally awake after only 6 hours of sleep. I speak openly without anxiety about what I want to say. I feel alive again, like I used to feel. So what happened to me to slow me down in the first place? Why did I fall into such a constant slumber? I didn't think I was depressed, not at first, but then I realized that I had no motivation to do things, any thing, and I felt worried all the time about saying the wrong thing. I guess I was exhausted from my mind, I was worn-out, and I just couldn't get up and go anymore.

This drug has me wide awake, and I feel kind of like a child again, free, happy, playful, enjoying life. My libido Is back. But the energy doesn't end. I feel the same upbeat-way constantly. I don't get tired at night and feel the need to rest. Still, out of desire to stay on my schedule, I watch my show at night, and go to bed at my usual time. I am able to fall asleep, surprisingly, but then I wake up four hours later, and after that, I keep waking up every hour. My dreams are crazy, quite energetic, sometimes a little frustrating and disturbing. I don't have much control in them anymore.

I want better sleep, I want to have time to relax at night, and I don't want to depend on a drug. So I stopped. Now I'm going back down again. I'm not quite as low as I was before, but I think that's because I have recently re-gained my freedom to drive. I have a feeling that this excitement will not last very long, because I already feel the lack of motivation. My migraines have returned, just as often as before, about two to three per week. They are debilitating. I feel so sick when I get them. I cannot stand loud noise, bright lights, or strong smells. I cannot read or watch TV when I get them. I cannot even sleep because the pain is so intense.

I am thinking about getting back on the scripts again but at a lower dose if possible. I just want to feel normal again. I want to feel motivated and alive and not in pain. A couple of weeks I will see my Dr. again, and I'll find out if there is anything else I can do.