Day 3 Vanity - face and hair

Same thing happens every time I cut my hair. I love how it looks, put the scissors down, take a shower, style my hair, and.... I hate it. The next day I usually touch up missed pieces, which sometimes makes me feel a little better, and by a couple of weeks of growth I like it again. I have to get my picture taken tomorrow and I don't want to with my hair like this. I look like a dork! It was so much easier when my head was shaved. I didn't have to tame the crazy pieces that make me look like a scary wild woman. I didn't have to fluff up the top sides so I don't look like a cone head. I didn't have to do anything. It was so nice. My head just stayed the same shape, and because there was no way I could do anything to change the shape of my face, I was able to relax and just be me. No worries about changing my appearance. Now my hair has a mind of it's own and influences when I want to face the world and when I want to hide. Stupid hair.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from self acceptance, self love, and beauty by accepting and allowing myself to define my self acceptance, self love, and beauty within having a pretty face and hair.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for self acceptance, self love, and beauty outside of myself, in my appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have lost myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am able to find myself, my self acceptance, self love, and self beauty outside myself, in my appearance – instead of realizing and accepting that I am here, always the same, unable to be transformed by outside appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am able to find self acceptance, self love, and beauty outside of myself instead of realizing, trusting, and accepting myself through facing myself through writing, self forgiveness, and self discipline.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow my desire to be beautiful in my appearance, and ultimately loved, desired and accepted by others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly follow my desires, believing that these desires are who I am and that it is in my benefit to now act on my desires – when actually desires are merely sexual energy that was transferred into my mind and that such desires exist to distract me from myself.

I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to separate myself from everyone and everything that exists.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as equal and one as all as everything that exists.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inferior to others.


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I desire something, that it is because I believe that what I desire can give me something as though that something is not already who I am.

I forgive myself for not accepting myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in nagging feelings of 'something's wrong', 'I am not satisfied', 'I am not complete', 'I am not fulfilled' – and to believe such experiences to be real to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need to look pretty and ultimately find acceptance from others to be complete, fulfilled, and satisfied with myself and to find acceptance in myself.

When and as I begin to desire something outside myself to feel complete, like my appearance of my face and hair, I stop, I breathe, and do not accept or allow myself the need to be dependent on or to search for something outside of me to define me. Instead I realize that I am here, whole, and complete as I am. I realize that self worth is not to be found from acceptance from others, for that is only in an individuals opinion, as many different opinions abound, and that self acceptance is found within self, within learning to trust and love self. I realize that in desire to be pretty, I am only placing myself in separation from everyone and everything that is here, equal and one, so I breathe through this and remember that I am equal and one with all life no matter what my appearance is or how my appearance is judged.

Be the change you want to see in the world.
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