Day 2 – Me as Mom – socks and shoes

My 6 year old son has been very dependent on me, especially lately. He wants me to put on his socks and shoes for him, although he can do it himself. (he does it when he wants to) I tell him, “No, I will not put your shoes on for you, you can do it, you're a big boy.” He responds with crying and whining. I feel upset that he is trying to control me by these pity tactics. I stand my ground and don't help him, but I do wait for him before going outside, because guilt sneaks in my mind and I don't want to be mean by leaving him alone. I think he knows he can gain control over me somewhat with the pity tactics. After about 15 minutes of whining and complaining about how he can't do it, and me telling him that he has to practice himself for exactly that fact, so he can learn to fix his bunched up sock when he needs to, he finally finishes the great task of putting on his socks and shoes. I told him that he is clinging to me like a bugger clings to a nose. He laughed, and I was grateful he chose to respond with a sense of humor instead of responding with more whining.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that my 6 year old is attempting to control me with pity tactics of crying and whining when I tell him I won't help him put on his socks and shoes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “my son is attempting to control me with pity tactics of crying and whining when I tell him I won't help him put on his socks and shoes” to an emotional experience of anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the emotional experience of anger. For in this reaction of anger, I am allowing his actions to control me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my reaction of anger on my son instead of taking responsibility for my own allowance in the participation of the emotion of anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think “it would be mean for me to go outside before my son when he doesn't want to put on his socks and shoes by himself”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought, “it would be mean for me to go outside before my son when he doesn't want to put on his socks and shoes by himself” to the emotion of guilt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the emotional experience of guilt.

I know my son needs to learn consequence, and I need to not allow my emotions to control my actions.

When and as I begin to react in an emotional response of anger to the thought of feeling controlled by my son with his pity tactics, and guilt from self judgment of being mean when I think about going out before my son, I stop, I breathe and do not allow myself to participate within these emotions. Instead, I think about what the practical solution would be in the situation and allow natural consequence to teach my son (when safe, of course).